I'm full of dread, and sadly I want to kill myself. what to do?

I think during our younger years most people will experience depression of some sort, varying between a mild annoyance to and dangerously all consuming void of horror. I just 26 and now that I'm fully done with puberty a lot of things are finally starting to make some semblance of since too me. If things are really getting that bad, then I would suggest that you speak with your school counselor. At the least, by telling the counselor, your voicing how you feel inside to somebody else and maybe they might be able to help you, if not with medication then at least by becoming somebody to help lighten the mental load of everyday life. But please don't kill yourself, too many people contemplate the end when during these times it's most important to be looking towards the future. As for relationship wise, I find that when the fish aren't biting its time to pull your line in and check your lure,lol. What I mean when i say this is maybe you need to take change up your game strategy or even change the location of the your prospective targets to an area where you feel more comfortable, when i was younger for a while the girls at my school weren't feeling me when i would attempt to be flirtatious, by switching my area I began flirt with girls in different school districts via the mall or skate park. By being seen in the other places, I was capable of meeting a whole new ortment of girls that I was able to have a conversation and more with. Hang in there it's all gonna work, also as you get older things get a whole hell of a lot more funner and you don't want to miss out on that.